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Monday, January 20, 2014

Provision and Purpose

God called me to stay home to raise our kids full time.

That was already two years ago! I am embarking on the second anniversary of choosing to heed the call to be head of domestic affairs for our household.  It is truly a blessing, but as with every blessing, there have been tests along the way, some of which I have passed thanks to God's mercy, but some of which I have failed due to my own attempts.  Thank Jesus for His grace because when I try to hold all of it together and it falls and breaks, He is always there to help me up and pick up all the pieces.  Jesus is what holds it all together; He is the glue.

I recently failed one of these tests on Saturday.  It's always humbling because hindsight is 20/20 - and like the cliché reminds us: just hold on for one more day!  Hope is on the horizon.

God's provision is perfect, both in what it is, and when it comes.  He is holy, and He sustains me, even when I misplace my faith, leaning on something other than Him for support.

This time, my Jesus worked through lovely people in our family to remind me of His heart that is moved with compassion for me.

Just like when Jasper is crying and crying and probably assuming the worst things about his own parents, I know I will never leave him to figure out this life on his own.  I am there to wipe his tears and calm his soul.  I will comfort him and help him rest...

What insight parenting has given me into the heart of my Heavenly Father!  And praise Him that He does it perfectly!!! Because as I type this, Jasper is crying in his crib, and I am behind the bathroom door with the vent on because he is refusing to let me comfort him!  Yet, how often do I try that with Jesus?! He wants to give me true rest, but I'm looking for my own definition of comfort or my own idea of happiness.  Still, He knows my heart is His in the end, and eventually, I will reach my arms out for them only One who can give me true security.

Shh shh shh, little one, you're okay.  Rest now.

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